Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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