Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize