That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
