Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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