I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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