Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
