puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
