Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
