Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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