I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
