Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
