Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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