so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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