I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
