Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
