I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
