Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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