She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize