Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
