Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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