shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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