HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
