I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
