cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
