i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
