I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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