I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
