He kissed a someone with a penis
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
