I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
