I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize