grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
