thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
And then he peed in my hair
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