forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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