If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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