she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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