You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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