writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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