One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
