I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize