Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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