i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She bit a glass in half.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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