i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
