i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize