Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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