Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
