things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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