I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
