so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
