best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
