I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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