I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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