it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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