We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
