Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
