I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
