this boner is exhausting
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
