we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fuck appropriateness.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize