Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
