We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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