Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
