is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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