what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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