what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
