I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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