The maid of honor just puked.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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