I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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