Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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