bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize