If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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