We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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