My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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