everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
